


Presentation is everything

by Iridescentuwus



Series: So good to have someone to be so bad with [1]
Category: How to Be a Serial Killer (2008)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Bart (How To Be A Serial Kller), Fluff, I know Mike dies but in my heart they make it to Mexico, M/M, Mike Wilson (How To Be A Serial Killer) - Freeform, Mike cuts Bart's hair, Unresolved (so far) sexual tension, cursing, murder boyfriends, some gay panic?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-27
Updated: 2021-01-27
Packaged: 2021-03-12 22:34:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,594
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29018292
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Iridescentuwus/pseuds/Iridescentuwus
Summary: They had only been settled into their new, crappy little apartment in Mexico with the crappy furniture for a few weeks when Mike had testily demanded to know why Bart had been glancing over at him so much.
Relationships: Bart/Mike Wilson (How To Be A Serial Killer)
Series: So good to have someone to be so bad with [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2128827
Kudos: 1





	Presentation is everything

**Author's Note:**

> This dorky and extremely gay movie from 13 years ago consumes my thoughts and I am so upset by how few fanfics it has! So I've decided to write some fics for this pairing. Maybe even with a higher rating? 😏
> 
> If you're here because you're a fan of my Hankcon fics, just know I still really like that pairing too and think about writing more for them every day. Hopefully writing for this new ship (to me at least) will help get the creative juices flowing for them again.

They had only been settled into their new, crappy little apartment in Mexico with the crappy furniture for a few weeks when Mike had testily demanded to know why Bart had been glancing over at him so much. 

Bart had immediately started to fidget. Even after knowing each other for weeks. Mike had finally decided that that was maybe just how Bart was. No matter how much they had gotten to know one another. He had quickly gotten used to how the younger man would get a bit rambly sometimes when talking. How awkward he could be.

"So, like, I was thinking, right? You said you didn't have enough peroxide after you dyed _your_ hair and um. Why haven't you gotten some more? 'Cause I really would like to do something with mine…"

Mike blinked, leaning towards him. "I also said you didn't need to change your look." 

"I-I know...But I'd still like to, you know? I've had this hairstyle for years now and I'm...I'm kind of bored of it? And like, I'd get a haircut but I never really liked strangers getting so close to my neck...It's kind of a funny story?" 

Mike snorted. "Did you have a bad experience before, Bart? Have any other serial killer friends I should know about?" 

"No, it's just that this one time, I think I was like eight years old? And my mom took me to this barber shop and the guy was using one of those," Bart snapped his fingers a few times, trying to remember the name, " _electric shavers_ and I got this, like, super sudden sneeze. Came out of nowhere. The guy nicked me pretty bad." 

"Holy shit. Really?"

"Yeah...At least, I think it was pretty bad? I _was_ young. So maybe it just _seemed_ more dramatic and worse than it actually was? But uh, yeah. Don't let a lot of people close to me with scissors and stuff like that." Bart does that dorky, wheezy chuckle that always gets Mike smiling for some reason. 

Mike pursed his lips, nodding. "Maybe. But I really don't think blonde would suit you. Or black? So _I_ could cut it for you, man. Would you trust _me_ with that?" He cocked his head to the side. "I _hope_ you'd trust me. Especially after all we've been through. I meant what I said, you know? About not hurting you? And I haven't, have I?" 

Bart smiles, jerkily nods his own head. " _Yeah!_ Yeah, of course I trust you." 

Mike outright grins at him. "Good. I already have a few ideas in mind." He narrows his eyes at him thoughtfully, ignoring the way Bart glanced away bashfully under the attention.

Bart flinches a bit when Mike jumps up and out of the chair with an exuberant clap of his hands. Mike's notices and frowns at him for a moment before he goes back to grinning. 

"No time like the present, Bart," he ushers the younger man out of his seat, "to the kitchen we go!" Mike playfully crows before he _lightly_ shoves him into a chair and then dips into the bathroom to get a comb, spray bottle, and a pair of scissors. 

The new, rejuvenated energy in their apartment is contagious and Bart laughs again, drumming his fingers onto his knees. 

Mike settles items on the table as he comes back and rearranges the chair further away from the table so he could walk around and cut from all angles. 

Mike rubs his hands together. "Okay buddy, I was thinking something along the lines of cutting about three to four inches off? Leaving the ends to reach the top of your ears? That sound good, Bart?" 

Bart takes a moment to picture it before he speaks, "Sounds good. Thanks, Mike." He smiles a soft, closed mouth smile up at the man. 

Mike stares. He licks his lips. "No problem, man." 

He goes about carefully combing the brown locks out, spritzing it with water every now and then. 

Bart's scalp begins to feel a bit tingly. Eyes drifting off to the side. It feels nice. Mike looks serious when he glances up at him. He zones out with his eyes pointed somewhere to the side again. 

"Still good?" Mike looks visibly amused when he snaps to attention. 

Bart just nods. Almost feeling sleepy. 

"Alright. I'm going to start cutting. Just a heads up here…" 

Bart tenses but then forces himself to relax again. This is _Mike. He_ trusted him. Mike who he had equated to a pit bull. That greatly misunderstood animal. 

"Okay." 

The first snip had his mouth going into a thin line. As do the next few. Mike pauses. Taking a step back. 

"Do you...Do you want the radio on, Bart? Would that help?" Mike doesn't wait for a response, just walks over to the small radio and turns it on. Settling on a station that plays 90s and early 00s music. He doesn't turn it up super loud, but they wouldn't have to strain at all to hear it clearly either. The sweet voice of Dolores O'Riordan drifting through their little place. 

Mike gets back to cutting and Bart feels himself relax more naturally. Bart can't look at the face in front of him for very long. At the eyes made intense with concentration. Just when he thought he'd start squirming, Mike moves behind him with the scissors. 

"Alright...Lookin' good so far." He hears the older man mutter to himself. It makes that tingle in his scalp return and glide down along his spine. What was happening? Bart wasn't gay. Another man has never made him feel this way before. He wasn't gay. There was no way. It was probably just because it had been a while since he's gotten anything from anyone. Not that he was like a womanizer before. Not even _close_ to one. But there had been a _few_ girls in the past. He's even had sex. Once. As awkward as that encounter had been…He nearly grimaces thinking about it.

In his pondering Bart barely noticed when Mike moved from the back to his right side. 

Did Mike notice this _tension_ between them? Was the older man gay? No. Bi? He _had_ been with Abigail. Bart frowns deeply. May that poor woman rest in peace...His brows knit together as his mind inevitablly goes back to Mike. He _was_ kind of touchy with him. Had always been. And he did seem to smile so easily at him. Obviously fond of him. That had been clear since Bart had watched him shoot that one asshole without freaking out. He hadn't really seen Mike interact with other people before so he really couldn't say if he was like that with everyone. 

Bart's breath hitches when Mike's face was suddenly inches from his own, the man stooping down to his height and _gazing at him._ Wait. No. His eyes were just darting between the ends of his hair. Bart's heart calms down. 

Mike does just a few more snips before he beams at him. Clapping his hands together once more before letting them fall down to his sides. "All finished! And you look _a lot_ better." A beat before the older man shrugs. "No offense." 

Bart moves to stand, brushing off the stray hair that had landed on his chest and shoulders. A bit itchy, he realized. "None taken."

Mike takes an impatient step back. "Well? Go to the bathroom and have a look!" 

With a couple more swipes over some still clinging hair on his shirt, he makes his way to the bathroom. Mike following close behind him. 

"Oh. Oh _wow_. This does look good...Not that I doubted your skills or anything! But wow _._ " 

Mike snorts, from where he was kneeled in front of him, rifling through the cupboard under the sink, making a triumphant noise when he finds a handheld mirror. He hastily cleans the surface with his shirt and angles it so Bart can see the back of his head. 

"Admittedly, I was a... _bit_ nervous with my skills too. I haven't cut anyone's hair since my broke college days."

Bart was turning his head this way and that. Looking at himself from all angles. "Huh?"

"I would sometimes cut my roommate's hair just to get him to _shut the hell up_. You know, I think he might have been one of the first people I felt murderous tendencies towards. He was a _fuckin' dick_ of a roommate." Mike shakes his head at the surfacing memories. 

"Oh." 

"Yep. But uh. You really happy with this cut?" Like he had every right in the world to, Mike reaches out and starts running his fingers through the newly shortened brown hair. Having set the mirror down onto the counter space. 

Bart's blinks, eyes heavy. "Trust me. I-I really do like it. Thanks again." 

Mike steps up closer behind him, grinning at him through their reflection. The two of them roughly around the same height. 

" _Again,_ no problem. Anything for my protégé." 

They lock eyes, the smile slowly slipping from Mike's lips. Bart's voice does that almost _croaky_ thing when he opens his mouth that he dislikes, but couldn't stop in situations like these. "U-um. I think I'm going to take a shower. I'm all itchy…" 

Mike clears his throat loudly. Nodding stiltedly. "Right. _Right_. You do that while I sweep up and get started on dinner." 

Bart is left alone in the bathroom. Heart and stomach feeling all fluttery with his mind feeling foggy and confused.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm still trying to figure out their characters so I hope it wasn't too horrible. I figured Mike is like a super™ toned down Handsome Jack and I've read a lot of fics about him. I have some more ideas for these two that should be coming out soon.


End file.
